Lifeguards
And later, I believe I was a serial killer, yet I don't remember any actual murder. At first it was me, Inta, Trent. There was a twelve foot rattlesnake in my bedroom closet of the apartment; it bit me. The wound swelled immediately and I slammed the closet shut, rushed to the bathroom, immersed myself in shockingly cold water, and slit the wound with my thumbnail. The blood was thick, like sap, and scarlet/black. It changed me. In a wasteland (apocalyptic) amusement park I felt alienated. Back on the train I decided that I wouldn't be. I lay with the young women and later--I think--stabbed the young men.
Dreams
I watched male and female lifeguards--I didn't know them--flirt outrageously while on some train; we were going east, from Illinois I think. I was young, maybe fifteen. There were many unbearable intimacies, the exposing and caressing of breasts, bare buttocks, casual hands moving beneath clothing, a lot of kissing. It was torment because I could not partake of the flesh, you see.